We all live in a changing world and if we really want congeniality, conjugality, and consensus, we should remain prepared for compromises.
For peace and goodwill, for concord and communion, adjustments are necessary. The angularities, if any have to be smoothened, impositions have to be curbed; authority has to be minimized.
Whether in a family or in the society, even in the national or international scene stiff- nakedness can never help; highbrowed behaviour can never be tolerated.
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Every one is important at his own place; rather every one should be given and granted his importance.
A little goodwill can win more rewards then an authoritarian attitude. Bill Clinton, the former US president holding the highest place in the international politics gave up his ‘highness’ for a while and danced with the womenfolk of that village in Jaisalmer in Rajasthan, during his visit and that must have left on those underprivileged village folk an indelible mark for all times. It might just have been a play on his part but a little bending down has won so many hearts.
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The saying goes ‘the beauty of life lies in compromise, but there is no compromise with the devil’. Life is a series of compromises and one who learns this lesson well, finds life giving him pleasure and relief — What else and what more does one aspire for?
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Only the one who can appreciate the other’s point of view, one who can give a little mould to his ways of life, finds a welcome at every poor one who does not or cannot, becomes an unwelcome intruder.
With a child born, the mother has to spare time for it; she may even have to remain sleepless to let the child feel cozy and comfortable. The father has also to suffer disturbance in his sleep or rest — he has to remain prepared for it for he has fathered a child. The wife has to adjust with her husband’s whims and tantrums and so has the husband to his wife’s — if this is not done, every moment would be a moment of tension and trouble.
The father has to adjust to the ways of his son; he cannot ever be overbearing and domineering while the son or the daughter-in-law has to take an account of what the ‘sire’ likes or does not like and thus through mutual give- and-take of considerations life in the home runs smooth and enjoyable.
At a party thrown out if the younger ones of the family are enjoying a drink, the elder one if, a teetotaler, has to look the other way; ignore or even quietly permit. His frown would spoil the geniality of the company and then he would be avoided. The new order shall go on and the old order must change with it.
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The mothers-in-law are generally the undoubting sort still, in the Indian social scene. The daughters-in- law are also demanding a little too much of license and the proverbial game of ‘Tu Tu Mein Mein’ as serialised in the T.V. serial with the same title goes on. The one has to seek adjustment regarding the sensibilities of the other.
The generation-gap has to be bridged — that has to be done with sons and fathers, daughters and mothers and in laws on both sides. The old must come to realise that they have lived their lives their way; in the vast changing scenario of life, everything is undergoing a sea-change — they must also swim with the tide, going against it can uproot their foothold even from there where they stand.
The old pedestals are tumbling down; the old inhibitions no longer can be tolerated or appreciated.
Caste distinctions have vastly been eliminated, social life has taken a new shape; the old eating drinking habits are found obsolete and out of date. Change then and feel the pulse of the wind, which way it is blowing —the older generation has much to give up and this sacrifice on their part shall be for the good of all — for their own selves as well as for those with whom they come to live or have to establish contacts with. It is the trees even with their roots deep into the earth that get uprooted, the bending bushes stand the gush of the storm in its stride, bend with every blast and stilt keep in tact in their place.
Nature teaches this lesson and we need to learn it the right way well in time. ‘Old is gold’, people might say; There is nothing to question it, but the old is gold in the archives — it is still something to venerate about but the ‘sword’ of Maharana Pratap or that of Shivaji cannot win for us the Kargil war.
Even in the international field, changes are in the air. The old hostilities are hostilities no longer, Japan — the most suffered of the World War II at the hands of America, is now joining hands with the same aggressor in commerce and economy.
The two Germanys — east and west — are united and are again one country. India, which made the British to ‘quit’, is being sponsored for a seat in the Security Council by Britain — the assurance has just recently been given by the Britain’s foreign minister during his visit to India. USSR is USSR no more it is now just Russia. Communism has yielded place to liberalism. The old equations are equations no longer, a new world is emerging. India, a downtrodden country is finding for itself a respectable place in the community of nations.
History is teaching us new lessons and we have to learn them and also learn from them. Those who would not or do not, stand to be side-tracked, brushed aside or even eliminated. The old order has to change to yield place to new. Outdated principles and programmes, old traditions, the old ways must come to terms with the change in times and that is now the only way to live a life where there shall be peace and pleasure.